Gimme Gimme Gimme

I have always loved ABBA. You can thank my mother for this, as that’s one of the few bands I remember her consistently listening to back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I also remember her listening to a lot of Enya & Enigma & random slightly-ethereal-but-structured-enough-to-make-sure-someone-would-purchase-this-as-a-single music, but thankfully those didn’t rub off on me (Dad made me a sucker for Vangelis & Peter Gabriel, though).

Back on point – you’d think that between my aforementioned love for ABBA as well as my closet fondness for movie musicals that a movie like Mamma Mia! would be a guaranteed win, right? The thing is, from the moment I saw the first trailer for this movie, I felt nothing but disinterest. My desire to see it on a scale from 1 to 10 where 1 is Evita, 3 is Popeye, 7 is Little Shop of Horrors and 9 is Moulin Rouge, I’d have to rate my interest in seeing Mamma Mia! at that point a -112. Basically, there was no way I was going to pay to sit in a theatre and see it. This coming from the guy that paid to see the re-release of Grease back in 1998 (complete with white tee, cigarette pack rolled in my sleeve and greaser ‘do). Hopefully that fully communicates how much I didn’t care to see this movie (it also might make you question my claim to being straight, but I promise it’s true).

I finally got around to seeing it a few weeks ago on DVD after the continued recommendation of my aforementioned mother and a few friends. They claimed I’d love these renditions of classic ABBA tunes and that it was ‘cute’. So I gave in. The result – predictable. I didn’t hate it and I didn’t turn it off, but I wasn’t sorry for it to end, either. I think it was a lot like Domino’s Pizza. You’ll settle for it if that’s all there is, and it tastes alright while you eat it, but after you’re done you can’t say it’s either memorable or satisfying.

I think the problem was that in a movie full of ABBA songs, nothing reminded me of ABBA. At least, nothing reminded me of what it feels like to listen to ABBA. The songs felt completely unrelated to the plot, for the most part. And hey, that’s not a first for movie musicals, but in this case it felt especially noticeable. Some elements of the choreography were just plain confusing – why exactly does Meryl Streep jump into the ocean at the end of ‘Dancing Queen’? Is there a metaphor I’m missing there? Has she recaptured her days as The Dancing Queen? The music itself is *nearly* the same, but it just feels…off. Not quite as bad as the Stone’s since the ’80s, but maybe as strange as the Tom & Jerry’s where they could talk. Take ‘Money Money Money’. The MM version is missing any of the menace or bombast of the original. I’m not sure why Benny & Bjorn saw fit to change it into something less fitting of the stage than it already was, but that’s the way they went.

ABBA were an incredibly visual band. Putting aside the outfits and the videos, the symmetry of two girls flanked by two guys was visually interesting. Now, Greece is pretty and I’d kill to live wherever it was they were, but there wasn’t so much as a wink at ABBA’s distinctive visual style. By the time the end credits roll and everyone dresses up you wonder what the point is.

I’m not sure what the point of this rant was other than I felt like ranting. If all this Mamma Mia talk has left a bad taste in your mouth, cleanse your palate with an original ABBA tune.

ABBA – Money, money, money
From Arrival

Tags: abba, Movies & TV