I’m a cat person

You know, we all seem to break down into different groups based on all sorts of interests, likes/dislikes, backgrounds, etc., but few lines seem to cut so distinctly as the Cat Person/Dog Person divide. I have friends who absolutely and without question cannot stand cats, to any degree. They think they’re dirty, annoying, persnickety and frustrating. On the other hand, I have friends that can’t stand dogs. They’re big, slobbery, stupid and time-consuming.

Now, I’ve had both cats and dogs, and I loved all of them pretty evenly. My dog when I was growing up, Oliver, was the best dog to have ever existed. He was an Australian Shepard. Now, when I say he was the best dog ever, I don’t mean he was the best behaved dog ever. He wasn’t. We built a really tall fence to keep him in the yard so our neighbor across the street wouldn’t lose his mind about the dog wandering the neighborhood, but Ollie was too smart for it and would figure a way out every time. We were never sure how a dog that big was jumping the fence or if he even was jumping the fence, but no matter what we did that dog could not be contained. If you put him on a leash or chain, he’d just pull whatever it was tied to out of the ground. Fenceposts, whatever. That dog was like Superman.

He was also the most gentle dog I’ve ever seen. I remember walking around the neighborhood and another neighbor had a Doberman. The Doberman went right for Ollie, but Ollie’s fur was so thick the Doberman couldn’t actually hurt him. Ollie just stood there and let the other dog chew on him for a while, until the neighbor could pull his dog off. Oliver also let any animals eat from his food dish. This included coyotes, skunks, cats and other dogs. We’d often find a whole menagerie of animals eating out of his dish, and frequently at the same time. He was a regular canine Dr Doolittle. What’s funny is, he was never sprayed by those skunks. Not once. That’s how inviting that dog was.

Unfortunately, when he was 16 he developed severe arthritis, and one day I found the poor thing in the backyard, unable to lift is back legs. So he was just sort of shuffling along, pulling himself with his front paws across the ground. My parents decided to put him to sleep, and we never had another dog after that. I’m not sure I ever wanted another dog after that, because that image of him in the backyard, unable to walk has always been burned into my memory, as well as laying down in the back of our van with him on the way to the vet. This happened nearly 20 years ago, and just talking about it makes me kind of sick to my stomach. This might be why I’m not a dog person.

However, I don’t find dogs unpleasant. I actually really like dogs. In fact, for some peculiar reason, my mom and I both have a sort of Snow White effect on most animals, and they immediately congregate near us in any setting. I recently stayed at William’s house, and in the morning awoke to several of his cats laying on top of me. This has happened to me at Valerie’s house, too. I don’t know why animals like me, but I’m cool with it. There are worse things to deal with in life.

That being said, I’m a cat person. And when it comes down to it, I think I’m a cat person rather than a dog person for one simple reason – you have to EARN it with a cat. Cats do not just like you on sight. They usually sniff around you at first, get an idea of what you’re all about. In fact, the number one mistake I see people consistently make when they first see someone’s cat is attempting to pick it up and pet it. Rookies! You can’t do that. You also can’t make a cat sit in your lap. My Aunt used to try to do that all the time, and the cat would become more and more unlikely to ever do it the more she tried to get him to do it. Cats are very, very independent creatures. They have to make up their own minds about people. Sometimes, they decide they don’t like you. This is the risk you take.

But I think it’s a lot like a relationship, really. Do you want a girlfriend/boyfriend to just instantly like you and everything you do, no matter what? Or would you rather earn their affection, and take the time to develop a relationship? I’m probably over analyzing it, but I think it’s not far off the mark. When my cat sits in my lap and purrs (another thing dogs can’t do), I know he’s genuinely happy. Cats don’t fake it. There’s something about that I find very satisfying. Really though, it’s the purring. That’s about the most relaxing sound in the entire world. Barking is not relaxing at all, I’m afraid. And I love the fact that my cat will slowly dig his claws into me if I try to stand up while he’s sleeping comfortably on my lap. It’s a not-so-subtle hint that I’d best sit back down before something bad happens.

Wait, that kind of sounds like an abusive relationship. Maybe this analogy wasn’t that great after all. Or maybe it’s right on, actually. Cats are like abusive lovers. Food for thought.

Kills, The – Cat Claw
David Bowie – Cat People (Putting Out Fire)

Tags: david bowie, the kills